Tears of JOY...

This one of the 4 referral photos we received of our precious daughter.
Please Pray for her as you see her beautiful face.

I started to title this post after something we sent to our Family Coordinator on Thursday - "tears of joy on Tuesday and tears of another kind on Thursday." But I realized that might leave the impression of us being it great despair. Do not misunderstand, we are grieving and feel a little helpless as we wait in what seems a dark time. But Jesus is GOOD and He is Sovereign over all things! We have had a great sense of His peace - no doubt because of the many that are praying for us and our precious Abby. We need your prayers - our daughter desperately needs your prayers. Thank you for remembering to intercede for us.

For those that do not know, here is a recap of this emotional roller coaster of a week:

• Monday Oct. 12 we received RA from the CCAA and were told we would most likely travel to bring her home at the end of November - what great JOY we experienced!
• Wednesday Oct.14 the official LOA packet arrived. We signed it and FedExed it back to our agency for them to send back to China on Friday - what an exciting day!
• Thursday Oct. 15 our Family Coordinator(FC) called to tell us the very difficult news about the health of our daughter. We are so thankful for the staff of AWAA. Before hanging up, she prayed with us - for us and for Abigail. After hearing the horrific news, her prayer was such an encouragement. They truly care for us and our daughter.

Here is what we know:
About 3 weeks ago we contacted a third party organization called Ladybugs and Love from Above to request an orphanage call because we were still waiting for RA at that point. We mainly just wanted to see new photos and get new measurements. Well, the week after we requested this call the Moon Festival (which shuts down most things in China for about a week) occurred. We were contacted by them through email the Friday of that week to let us know the delay was because of the festival. Then, Monday the CCAA was back up and running - and our RA arrived. When our FC called on Thursday we were overwhelmed to say the least. Ladybugs and Love from Above had called our agency when they found out about our daughter's illness. She has been diagnosed with spinal acute myelitis. We found a very helpful explanation on the website of Children's Hospital of Boston. It is very serious - currently she is bedridden - unable to walk and without bladder/bowel control. We don't have any details as to when she contracted it, how long she has had it, or the treatment she is being given. At this point our FC has told us that the CCAA and the orphanage will have to decide if it is still in her best interest to be adopted. It could be another 1-2 weeks before we hear from China.

Please PRAY for these:

• healing of her body
• for her to receive good treatment
• for the CCAA and the orphanage to allow the adoption to proceed(we want her to know that she has a family that is waiting for her)
• that she would not be scared...grace and peace for her painful state
• peace for us as we wait to receive more details (it's very hard to think of her in such pain without her family there to comfort her)
• that we will receive an update from the orphanage

We are so very thankful for Ladybugs and Love from Above and America World Adoption Association! We cannot say enough word of praise about them! We are blessed to be on this journey with both of these organizations. We are also very blessed to have so many wonderful friends and family praying for us and our daughter. Your words of prayer and encouragement have meant more than you may ever know.
A couple of final thoughts:

1) Monte & I do NOT want anyone in the process of adoption or considering adoption to be discouraged. Though this pain we are currently experiencing is not what we expected, we would do it all over again for the life of a child and for what it has meant in our walk with Jesus. We have known Him like never before throughout this journey. Last night, at our revival service, Monte voiced that through this Jesus is about conforming us to His image and that is not without pain. Our faith muscle is being strengthened and we are growing in His love...and all because of a little girl that we call Abigail.

2) We do NOT want anyone to think that our adoption of a child that may not ever recover is some noble or honorable act that we feel obligated to. We believe Pan Zi He has been our Abigail long before we ever saw her face in May. The Christmas of 2006 we were burdened that there was a daughter waiting for us in a Chinese orphanage. There is no doubt that she was that daughter. Much more noble and honorable things have been done by men and women greater than us. We are simply trying to bring our daughter home.

We have tears of JOY at the very thought of our precious daughter.
We thank you for your prayers and ask that you continue praying.