The waiting process is filled with lots of learning and growing. America World (our adoption agency) has some required reading for the time spent waiting. Of course, just like in school, Monte & I have both procrastinated. Now we are "hitting the books" to fulfill our commitment. We figure that if we are asking God to bring Abigail home for Thanksgiving we better take that request serious on our end. So, I've been reading The Whole Life Adoption Book. Since most of you out there are family and friends, I thought that I'd share something I learned from my reading today - a few good quotes from the chapter that addresses preparing biological children, family, and friends. Here goes...
Natural Child: any child who is not artificial.
Real Parent: any parent who is not imaginary.
Your own child: any child who is not someone else's child.
Adopted child: a natural child, with a real parent, who is all my own.
- Rita Law
The following came from a table in this same chapter...
Positive Language for Discussing Adoption
Positive Terminology.................. Negative Terminology
Birth parent (father,mother).................Real ParentsChild joined the family............................Child was put up for adoption
Child came to us through adoption.......Child was surrendered or abandoned
Their birth children.................................Their own children (when excluding the adopted child)
My child.....................................................My adopted child
The waiting child......................................The hard-to-place child
Special/medical needs child....................Handicapped/difficult child
Search, reunion.........................................Track down his/her real parents
This chapter ended with some answers from a spiritual perspective to some common questions about adoption:
1st Question - "Why would you accept someone else's child as your own?"
Answer - Voluntary Redemptive Suffering - It is a voluntary choice to promise to a stranger's child - "We will be your family, forever, by our choice to do so." It is redemptive in that it restores to the child the dignity of life that was ripped away. And the suffering...energy exhausted with no guarantees of what tomorrow will bring to care for a seriously ill child...to hear the words - "You're not my real mom/dad," and respond with love in the pain of that rejection...to not be able to erase the past that has become a barrier for this child to receive affection. We adopt because we live our lives by a spiritual principle - voluntary redemptive suffering.
2nd Question - "What makes this child adoptable?"
Answer - The Value of Life Itself - The value of a life is not determined by its productivity or the convenience of its presence. Ugly consequences of severe abuse, debilitating handicaps, age, or race are not factors that determine the value of a life - beyond all of these is a child - a creation of God. This child is "a life that by virtue of its very existence has worth, value, and promise. He or she is a child in need of adoption." Families like us choose to adopt because of our strong belief in the value of life - we are guided by the Giver of life Himself.
So, there you have it - a little adoption education so to speak. May we all be challenged to view life from God's perspective - to learn from and follow His example of adoption of us.
"In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will - to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves." - Ephesians 1:5-6
